Announcements‎ > ‎

Goalpost Vol. 5 #5

posted May 22, 2014, 7:54 AM by Jim Magrogan

The Goalpost

Brought to You by

Chris Smith, Realtor

let Chris move you in or move you on

The 10th Season

Vol. 5 #5

The Mother of All Coed Soccer Newsletters

Reggie: the Sequel

All the News Worth Making Up

Fair & Balanced

Name the Band/Artist


Forecast – 110 F (accounting for the British chill factor), bone dry, completely calm.

Chaingang v Surgical Strikers                      North Valleys 1

Paperless Tigers v Real Studs                       North Valleys 2

Euro Envy v Bhoys & Ghirls                         North Valleys 3

Golden Slumbers v Quattro                          Bishop Manogue

OBG Stoners v Wright Stuff                          Reno High


Thursday May 8th – Results – Standings Attached

Chaingang 2 v 1 Real Studs                                  

Paperless Tigers 1 v 3 Bhoys & Ghirls          

Euro Envy 4 v 0 Wright Stuff                       

Golden Slumbers 1 v 6 Surgical Strikers                

OBG Stoners 2 v 2 Quattro       


Another glorious Reno spring evening witnessed more twisters and turns as the season begins to take shape. Plots are thickening, game plans are emerging, vacations are being cancelled, ankles are turning and, judging by the evidence at NV, the geese are migrating as an ill-wind blew through the Truckee Meadows. The answers to this season’s questions and a few toupees were certainly blowin’ in the wind.


In the relative calm of half-time it seemed those who chose to go with the pressure gradient in the first-half had been wise but who knew just how hard the wind would blow as the as the usual blow hards took to the pitch and the referees whistled a merry tune, I think it was Rock Me Like a Hurricane. And rocked like a hurricane we were. The silly season kicked-off with a fair dose of insanity added for good measure.


Inherit the Wind (in the second half)

In the relative calm of the first 45 the Chaingang had established a modest one goal lead over the rejuvenated Real Studs, thanks to the poaching instincts of local media star Marshall “Compassionate” Carrasco (yes, that is him hogging the network screens as you chug your morning Joe). Early in the second half the Chaingang added to their lead as Santa An(n)a Thorburn popped in a cheeky little number from 20 yards while the Studs became perplexed over referee protocol. Then the wind took charge and the players became mere pawns in Zephyrus’ game. Reggie the Razorback so far had been in the apparent doldrums but then found himself amidst a crossfire hurricane as the wind-aided Studs literally took flight. Pinging it here and ponging it there, Reggie was stretched from the tips of his toes to the tips of his fingers making miraculous save after miraculous save to preserve the Chaingang’s fragile lead, limiting the prolific Pagni to a solitary statistic.


Paperless Tigers Hopes Gone With the Wind

At half-time the under-womanned Bhoys & Ghirls were barely hanging on. It seemed inevitable that the Tigers’ numerical advantage would ultimately lead them to the ascendancy. But wind rapidly erased all traces of the Tigers advantage. Charlie Daniels, the Tigers keeper, could have been forgiven for thinking the dust Devil had come down to western Nevada to wreak havoc on his personal stats. Straight out of nowhere Tim “where’s my anemometer” Erlach tickled a shot with the ferocity of a you-tube kitten that took on a whole new dynamic as the wind swept in to assist. From barely moving to an F5 tornado, Daniels was left to mutter expletives as the ball sailed, whistled, flew into the net. Like dust in the wind the Tigers’ hopes and dreams were sandblasted all the way to tumbleweed heaven.


Wind Snuffs Out Stuff

Unprecedented event were unfolding. Even the wind had to hold its breath as Euro Envy’s Dan “Jigsaw” Henriksen finally found a piece to slot home with his head, yes, his head. Then Dave “son of Jigsaw” Barnes followed in his dad’s footsteps to slot home two, count ‘em, two collector’s pieces of his own. Mike “Meatball“ McDonough (the super hero sub) added to the Wright Stuff’s misery with a 4th. Just like a candle in the wind the Stuff had their hopes of victory snuffed. It was time to go fly some kites By then all that was left for the Wright Stuff was to go fly some kites and plan on a rendezvous with winged-victory on another occasion.


In Every Wind Resistant Brickhouse is an Open Back Door

Down on Shelly, Santi and Elaine’s farm the rapidly improving Quattro held the might Stoners to a ballet-like 2-2 tie (tutu, get it). No matter how hard they huffed and puffed Quattro had obviously built a brickhouse strong enough to repel the Duffy Dynasty and provide the Great Wall of Cork with a buttress or two. Shelly “Green Shorts” Avansimo and Laurie “tartar for now” Hadwick were able to sneak in a couple through the back door, but the Sturridge and Suarez of the Truckee Meadows (Hollis and Phillips) cancelled those efforts out. With the Quattro’s other dynamic duo, Dani and Mo, on the road the Stoner’s missed a big opportunity to put Quattro in reverse and solidify their reputation as the team to beat. Like Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal it might be time for the Stoner’s to rebuild...



Happy Days Are Here Again

It seems with the prevailing weather conditions the Golden “Bear” Slumbers decided to return to hibernation for another week. As they slept, the Strikers made their moves. Barely on the park Darrin “the“ Pons made his 2104 debut with two lucky strikes even Henry Winkler would have been proud of. Making the day even happier for the Strikers, Dr. Nick, the one with hair, the one without the hair all chipped in (well, not literally chipped in) to give the Strikers an impressive road victory. And just in case you were wondering Justin Time with Nostradamic-like prophecy just as he had predicted just managed to slip in a lucky strike of his own to send the inebriated, sorry effervescent, Strikers’ fans into orbit. Brian “sleepytime” Buehler did at least give the Slumbers something to sleep on, catching the usually wide awake Strikers defense taking 40 winks on the sly to ruffle the onion bag one more time in his illustrious career.

A Few Rule Reminders


1.    You do NOT need permission from the ref to sub in/out but you should wait for a dead ball situation to do so.

2.    There is no slide TACKLING. You can slide to save or reach a ball so long as it is not considered dangerous to another player by the referee. Goalkeepers can slide in the box but such slides are governed by the standard rules of the game. i.e. take someone out and it is a foul!

3.    Red cards – the carded player is done for the game but he/she CAN be subbed.



If you have not paid your registration fee, you MUST do so soon. The league depends on you. You can go online to to pay by credit card, or you can mail a  check to the RSCSL at 5694 Tappan Drive or you can deliver to me in person at the fields or at the Sportsdome. Or give it to your skippers.


The Goalpost 

Got something to sell? Looking for employees? Got something you want to say? Whatever it is feel free to use this fine publication to reach an educated and affluent audience! Maybe you want to join the editorial and writing staff of this award-winning newsletter – just send it!







I (Andrew) have a friend who has a house keeping; house-sitting; pet-keeping business. She is looking to drum up business. I know she will do a great job for you. So, if you are in the market or know someone in the market call Amy at 775-560-1462; mention my name. Or if you prefer, contact me at .


I (Andrew) also have a son who is looking for work this summer while home from college. Ideally he is looking for the opportunity to “intern” in an engineering environment, but he will venture beyond. He is a very smart, diligent young man with an impeccable academic record. If you are looking for some temporary help or know someone who is, let me send you his resume. Contact me at .


Do you feel like clutter is taking over your home? Feel buried by too much stuff? I can help you sort through what you have have and find solutions for your home to be more organized and look more beautiful. Being organized saves time and money and provides freedom to do the things you love. Call ROBIN SABO for a FREE consultation @ 775-391-5203.Visit Mention this ad and receive your 4th hour free. Recommended by league members Kelly Krueger and Melissa Heimerman.



Our Sponsors

All our sponsors have a league connection and they might just be able to help you with:

Bike needs – Brian Crowder, Peloton Bicycles

Tax needs – Cory Wright

Insurance needs – Paul Roberti, Liberty Mutual

Landscaping needs – Richmond Breen

Relaxation needs – Klaus Grimm, Massage Envy

Data management needs – Justin Long, PDI

All your anesthesia needs – Brian Buehler

Appendix removal and more – Martin Bain, Nick Spoerke, Western Surgical

New car needs – Audi of Reno

Construction needs – Ira Cross, Tahoe Lumber