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Goalpost Vol. 5 #7

posted Jun 1, 2014, 8:47 PM by Jim Magrogan

The Goalpost

Brought to You by

Chris Smith, Realtor

let Chris move you in or move you on

The 10th Season

Vol. 5 #7

The Mother of All Coed Soccer Newsletters

Reggie: the Sequel

All the News Worth Making Up

Fair & Balanced



If you have paid your fees, thank you. If you have not paid your registration fee, you MUST do so soon. The league depends on you. You can go online to to pay by credit card, or you can mail a check to the RSCSL at 5694 Tappan Drive, Reno NV 89523 or you can deliver to me in person at the fields or at the Sportsdome. Or give it to your skippers.


Only One Red Card So Far This Season (for deliberate handball)

I have had some feedback recently that some players may have been a little too enthusiastic with their tackling. We can all get a little excited on occasions especially after we have been on the receiving end of an “enthusiastic” challenge and maybe tempted to return the “enthusiasm”… Remember, we have players spanning the skill and clumsy spectrums. Rarely (if ever) has malice aforethought crept into our league so consider that challenge you just received as accidental rather than malicious. We all want to be able to get out of bed in the morning. Be nice to the refs too; I now they can be infuriating on occasion (I know because I know when I adorn those fetching little referee outfits I infuriate you all too) but they really are not targeting you personally unless you choose to wear a target on your back…


Now that warmer, lighter evenings are upon us and school is almost out I hope to see more of you mingling at our post game locations. It will not be long before games move south and we can take advantage of Lamppost Pizza with its team and family friendly environment. Sharing a beer with your team and opponents can sure take the sting out of a crunching blow or crushing defeat.


Thursday May 29th

Forecast – everything you could ever wish for at kick off

Chaingang v Paperless Tigers                            North Valleys 1

Euro Envy v Golden Slumbers                          Bishop Manogue

OBG Stoners v Surgical Strikers                       Reno High

Real Studs v Bhoys & Ghirls                             North Valleys 2

Quattro v Wright Stuff                                     North Valleys 3


Thursday May 22nd – Results – Standings Attached

Chaingang 2 v 1 OBG Stoners                         

Paperless Tigers 2 v 1 Surgical Strikers  

Euro Envy 5 v 2 Real Studs                             

Golden Slumbers 5 v 1 Wright Stuff                 

Bhoys & Ghirls 7 v 0 Quattro      


Fired-Up Scots Send Quattro in for Required Maintenance

Nice evening if you were not the sub goalkeeper for Quattro. After their recent solid run Quattro threw things in reverse to leave the unsuspecting Englishman seriously considering retirement as wave after wave of Scots and pseudo-Scots descended upon him as if they were extras in a Mel Gibson movie. Quattro coach (known as Moses to his friends) needs to seriously re-think his “Red Sea” formation at the back.


Studs Drywall Defense Crumbles

On neighboring NV2 something as rare as a Larene Barrett goal occurred. That something: a Dean Kasparian goal. But it was not enough for the Studs, who found themselves a 2 x 4 short of a full line-up against Euro Envy who are beginning their ascent of the stairway to heaven (or Archies).


Rock, Paper, Scissors

Despite a goal from international-man-of-mystery Rob “I’m back, make that my back” Levy the Strikers finally met their match as they were unable to find that cutting edge to open up the Tigers defense. Switching from scissors to rock was not the ploy to counter the hungry Tigers who finally put victory on the menu with the evergreen Jim Verdi and Sony “Walkman” Liu putting the order in.


The Long Road To Wigan Pier

At Reno High another unbeaten record tumbled as the Stoners failed to find a light. On a sticky wicket the Boldenless Chaingang quintuple-teamed Teddy “6 gun” Chrissinger to shackle him to great effect; producing the shock result of the season. For the Duffy clan it must have felt like Wigan all over again, even relying the Gang’s Vlad the Impaler to put the ball in the net for them. A goal apiece from Kahl and Crowder were enough to link the Chaingang with title talk.


NSA Unable to Provide Game Details

Intelligence is scarce but sketchy reports from down south suggest the Slumbers finally awoke. However, until better information hits I must assume the Slumbers finally found some WMDs to notch a victory over the Wright Stuff. If anyone can give me details of the final score and who netted the ball, the league archivist will be very happy.






A Few Rule Reminders


1.    You do NOT need permission from the ref to sub in/out but you should wait for a dead ball situation to do so.

2.    There is no slide TACKLING. You can slide to save or reach a ball so long as it is not considered dangerous to another player by the referee. Goalkeepers can slide in the box but such slides are governed by the standard rules of the game. i.e. take someone out and it is a foul!

3.    Red cards – the carded player is done for the game but he/she CAN be subbed.



The Goalpost

Got something to sell? Looking for employees? Got something you want to say? Whatever it is feel free to use this fine publication to reach an educated and affluent audience! Maybe you want to join the editorial and writing staff of this award-winning newsletter – just send it!







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Our Sponsors

All our sponsors have a league connection and they might just be able to help you with:

Bike needs – Brian Crowder, Peloton Bicycles

Tax needs – Cory Wright

Insurance needs – Paul Roberti, Liberty Mutual

Landscaping needs – Richmond Breen

Relaxation needs – Klaus Grimm, Massage Envy

Data management needs – Justin Long, PDI

All your anesthesia needs – Brian Buehler

Appendix removal & more – Martin Bain, Nick Spoerke, Western Surgical

New car needs – Audi of Reno

Construction needs – Ira Cross, Tahoe Lumber