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Goalpost Volume 4 #10

posted May 28, 2013, 12:37 PM by Jim Magrogan

The Goalpost

Vol. 4 #10

The Mother of All Coed Soccer Newsletters

All the News That is Worth Making Up

Dairy of a Dreamer, Make That Diary

Run On Sentences a Specialty




As we approach June a familiar refrain begins to echo within me. “When do we move to South Valley?” Here is my answer “although I cannot say with 100% certainty I anticipate June 13th as the date.” With the county’s current fiscal condition as it is you may wish to bring a lawnmower with you and you should not be surprised if an aging World War 2 combatant pops out from behind a goal post. You should note that games will continue at Bishop Manogue each week. When August arrives there could well be a few irregularities in the schedule.


Match Day 7 Results


Golden Slumbers 2 v 1 Chaingang

OBG Stoners 5 v 4 Paper Tigers

Euro Envy 10 v 2 Real Studs

Team quattro 2 v 3 Bhoys & Ghirls

Wright Stuff 4 v 1 Slashers


From Silly Mid-On to Silly Bugger

Conditions at Bishop Manogue were good enough for a game of cricket but after the toss both teams elected for a game of soccer, leaving yours truly to give up his customary fielding position of “silly mid-on,” toss out his batter’s cup and find his shin guards instead. The game was dreadlocked in a to ‘n (a)fro affair until the Milky Bar Kid brushed through the tangled Slumbers defense to slot home. With chances squandered at both ends the game seemed destined for the scrap heap of RSCSL history had it not been for a series of saves from Reggie “soul train, who wears short shorts, scenic route, we will keep a welcome in the hillside Kevin Phillips Bong” Bolden that has Jurgen Klinnsman considering a scouting visit this week. But Bolden’s efforts were ultimately in vain. Tidy work on the right saw Abby LePeilbet slot home the Slumbers’ equalizer and put the ‘Gang truly on the back foot. Except for Reggie, that is, who decided it was time to go walkabout. Mugged at the half way line by marauding gypsies and the most atrocious reffing decision in the history of the league since last week, Reggie “Boomerang (he won’t comeback)” Bolden was stranded at the half as Anna “ER” Thorburn surged into the void to strike the ball past the indecisive yours truly providing the Slumbers with a last gasp winner. Suffice it to say Jurgen has since cancelled his trip.


Putting the Shine Back on the Duffy Dynasty

Up at the Pastures the Tigers and OBG took part in a 5-4 thriller MJ would be proud of. With Ron and Gary both absent the plunging average age of OBG allowed Gavin “Sportsdome” Duffy Jr.  to play the Tigers like YoYo plays the cello; plucking the Stoners from the depths of the table to mid-table respectability. Sadly the DOJ apparently intercepted the game card which has left me short of data to make any comment on the Tigers performance as I type.


National Lampoon’s European Vacation vs. Nightmare on Sky Vista Boulevard vs. Braveheart vs. Men & Women in Black vs. The Right Stuff vs. ER

Moving on up the freeway the goal fest continued. A subsequently guilt ridden Euro Envy hit ten past the Studs to cement themselves at the apex of the table and banish the luckless Studs to the cellar. Of note was Shawn “Spellcheck” Moshrefnoory’s net busting bicycle kick that proved miracles are possible with scaffolding, bungy cords and photoshop. The league has another first – the first successful bicycle kick by a grandparent. Shawn hopes to return to league play circa 2017. Upon the expansive prairie that is the now fading Spirograph, the Bhoys & Ghirls were buoyed by their 3-2 victory over the now stalled Team quattro. Finally the B&G have a victory and finally the torrent of mail into my inbox might subside… Over at Lake Stead (NV3) The Wright Stuff got back on track blunting the Slashers with a convincing 4-1 display that has them once again dreaming of glory. Only Dr. Nick Sparkle made any impression for the Slashers as Dan “Jigsaw” Henriksen once again failed to put any pieces together inside or outside the box. Again due to another DOJ intercept I am unable to give any of the Wright Stuff’s roster their 15 words of fame.


Match Day 8 Schedule


Don’t worry about the weather, I promise all will be good by Thursday. Do not fret.



Match Day 8




Golden Slumbers v Euro Envy


Bishop Manogue HS


Bhoys & Ghirls v OBG Stoners


Reno HS


Chaingang v Real Studs


North Valley 1


Team quattro v Wright Stuff


North Valley 3


Slashers v Paper Tigers


North Valley 2


Post Game Refreshment

As we seemed to give up on Coney so Coney gave up on us. As things stand it would be very hit or miss going to Coney Island so I suggest this to those looking for some post game revelry; either join the Bishop Manogue crowd at Lamppost if you are heading south or the Reno High crowd at Truckee Meadows Bar and Grill if you are wanting something more central. If you have other suggestions, let me know. When we are all in the south we can all gather at Lamppost.


Money, Money, Money

My nagging paid dividends. I have been able cross quite a few folk of the list, but still a few to go. You can find me at the Sportsdome on Tuesday, go to the website and pay on line, mail me a check to 5694 Tappan Drive, Reno NV, 89523 or bring it to me or your captian on a Thursday evening.


Letting Your Captain(s) Know

We cannot emphasize how important it is to let your captains know about your attendance at games each week. It really helps with the planning, cuts down on last minute scrambling on a Wednesday night and Thursday morning for subs, and making sure we can get the subs as many games as possible while not creating dug out overpopulation.