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Goalpost Volume 4 #6

posted Apr 30, 2013, 10:29 AM by Jim Magrogan

The Goalpost

Vol. 4 #6

The Mother of All Coed Soccer Newsletters

Hyperbole a Plenty

All the News that is Worth Making Up

Dairy of a Dreamer, Make that Diary

 

Match Day 4 Schedule Gets Top Billing Due to a Little Funkiness

 

5/2

Golden Slumbers v Wright Stuff

7pm

Bishop Manogue HS

5/2

Real Studs v Bhoys & Ghirls

6pm

North Valleys 1

5/2

Team quattro v OBG Stoners

6pm

Reno High School

5/2

Chaingang v Slashers

6pm

North Valley 3

5/2

Euro Envy v Paper Tigers

6pm

North Valley 2

 

Money, Money, Money

I must be beginning to sound like an NPR presenter at a pledge drive….A polite reminder to those that have not yet coughed up the dough… If you chose to pay by check or cash and have not yet done so, please try to do so as soon as possible as many of our bills are paid upfront at the beginning of the season. Chances are you will find me the Sportsdome on a Tuesday evening or you can improve the chances of saving Saturday mail delivery by mailing your check to 5694 Tappan Drive, Reno NV 89523. Checks are payable to RSCSL. Or maybe bring payment to the games or the bar. A lot of bills are coming due so please, please settle up! Seriously, we are on a very tight budget this year.

 

Letting Your Captain(s) Know

I cannot emphasize how important it is to let your captains know about your attendance at games each week. It really helps with the planning, cuts down on last minute scrambling on a Wednesday night and Thursday morning for subs, and making sure we can get the subs as many games as possible while not creating dug out overpopulation.

 

Match Day 3

I may not have delivered on the field (it must be that bloody Sun at North Valley, could not be anything else) but I have sure delivered on the weather front. I have felt a lot of high pressure this pre-season to improve the atmospheric conditions this Spring. If I could just get some cumulus clouds to manifest themselves on the northwest horizon to occlude that pesky star, I would be happy and not blind during the second half. But anyhow, you are welcome, and for this coming Thursday I have conjured a forecast high of 78 degrees Fahrenheit (because this is America) with light yet refreshing wind. I have to admit that this really makes me wonder what is in store for us later in the season, 128oF and a thunderous incredibly un-refreshing hurricane for kick offs at South Valley maybe?

 

Perfection No Longer a Consideration

Down among the plastic palm trees and plastic turf that is fortress Bishop Manogue the Golden Slumbers, still in dreamland, were rudely awoken from their beauty sleep as the AARP chapter of old Reno rolled into the south of town with their walkers rattling, Cadillacs purring and wheelchairs humming. Expecting to hear cries of “help I have fallen over and cannot get up” from recently “restored” OBG keeper Gonzalo “I will keep for beer” Lopez the Slumbers saw their very own tuna net ruffled three times as the OBG emerged with a surprise 3-3 tie. Game on.

 

Messi Mows the South Meadows

Detouring south for an early season rendezvous at South Valleys, the Real Studs failed to get their drywall up in time. Before they could say Jackie “42” Robinson and Rich “Messi of the Meadows” Reid the Slashers had put the game to bed, tucked it in, and brought hot chocolate to the boys and girls in sky blue. Two “braces” for the aforementioned dynamic duo, compliments of Dr. Bain and the Western Surgical Group were more than enough to get the Slashers onboard a title bound flight; destination top of the table. ETA unknown.

 

“Oh Superman” (to quote Laurie Anderson)

Heading once again into the twilight zone of the outer limits of northern Nevada coed soccer, a little piece of RSCSL history was made at Reno NV 2. If all reports are true it was written by “Is it a bird? Is it a Plane? No it is Cesar Sanchez” who put on an aerial display of goalkeeping even the Blue Angels (that’s Red Arrows to some of us) would be proud of. His acrobatics combined with a toothless Euro Envy attack led to a 0-0 tie, which has not be seen in the recorded history of the league (at least as far as my accessible records go back – 2009 season). A goal less game in this league of calamitous defending is as likely as spotting the lesser-spotted throat warbler gobbler grouse at Ice Station Zebra.

 

Scotland’s Footie Crisis Deepens with Every Dropped Point

A little to the left (or right) on Reno NV 3 the Bhoys & Ghirls were cruising to a comfortable win at the 80 minute mark. Thanks to goals from Jim “0ch the Noo” McWilson and Paul “pantless” McRoberti, the decision of Colie McMcManus to cancel other plans (her own wedding) and play, plus the heroic efforts of Jamie “it is only a mere flesh wound” Edrosa promised to seal B&G’s first three pointer of the season until that aforementioned calamitous defending kicked in. And before you could say a “sidelined Scott McMorton could down 15 whiskeys in 10 minutes” the Wright Stuff pulled off the second minor league miracle of the night to force a 3-3 tie. Game on.

 

Missing Links Prove Key Factors

A little to the right (or left) on the Spyrograph the Chaingang, despite missing a link or two, pedaled once again past the finishing line to take the iconic yellow jersey (so to speak) at the expense of the still Krueger and Levy less Paper(less) Tigers. Once again it was the artful peddler himself, Mircea the Merciless, whose very own brace secured the win while the non-missing links of the Chaingang once again were again befuddled by the exploits of Reggie “Scenic Route” Bolden as he decided on, shall we say, a “roundabout” approach to art of goalkeeper ball distribution.

 

Results

 

4/25

Golden Slumbers 3 v 3 OBG Stoners

4/25

Real Studs 1 v 4 Slashers

4/25

Euro Envy 0 v 0 Team quattro

4/25

Chaingang 2 v 1 Paper Tigers

4/25

Bhoys & Ghirls 3 v 3 Wright Stuff

 

Coney Island and Beyond

Coney - East on 80, take 4th street exit, turn right at the bottom of the ramp and you are there.

 

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