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Goalpost Volume 4 #7

posted May 7, 2013, 8:44 AM by Jim Magrogan

The Goalpost

Vol. 4 #7

The Mother of All Coed Soccer Newsletters

Hyperbole a Plenty

All the News That is Worth Making Up

Dairy of a Dreamer, Make That Diary

Each Your Heart Out Faulkner


On a Sad Note

I am sure some of you have heard about the very sad incident at a youth soccer game in Utah last week. A referee, Ricardo Portillo, was struck by a player after giving a yellow card; the referee died a week later. The captains and referees are in agreement that before this week’s game we observe a moment of silence. The referees will lead the proceedings.


Come to Coney Island

Coney - East on 80, take 4th street exit, turn right at the bottom of the ramp and you are there.

Let’s boost attendance this week. It is amazing how a beverage can quench the thirst and quell the niggly-naggly aspects of a close fought soccer game.

 Money, Money, Money

I must be beginning to sound like an NPR presenter at a pledge drive….A polite reminder to those that have not yet coughed up the dough… If you chose to pay by check or cash and have not yet done so, please try to do so as soon as possible as many of our bills are paid upfront at the beginning of the season. Chances are you will find me the Sportsdome on a Tuesday evening or you can improve the chances of saving Saturday mail delivery by mailing your check to 5694 Tappan Drive, Reno NV 89523. Checks are payable to RSCSL. Or maybe bring payment to the games or the bar. A lot of bills are coming due so please, please settle up! Seriously, we are on a very tight budget this year. Thanks to those who pledged last week, still a ways to go though.


Letting Your Captain(s) Know

I cannot emphasize how important it is to let your captains know about your attendance at games each week. It really helps with the planning, cuts down on last minute scrambling on a Wednesday night and Thursday morning for subs, and making sure we can get the subs as many games as possible while not creating dug out overpopulation.


Match Day 4:


Lights, Action, Editing…

Last week provided the league's first 0-0 tie in recorded history; this week saw our very first floodlit game. Due to a Lacrosse play-off game the kick-off at Manogue was pushed to 7pm and so it was the Golden Slumbers and the Wright Stuff wrote another chapter in our storied history. I am sure that for some this was very matter of fact but for Marian Vlad the Impaler it was awesome, you see electricity has not yet reached his homeland of Transylvania. Peter “love at first byte” Wallstrum of the Wright Stuff rued not bringing a crucifix, garlic and a stake to counter the 4-1 bloodletting that followed the big switch on.


2013: A Sicilian Odyssey

At Reno Pastures OBG got hung, drawn and quattro’d. Once again Maurice Palermo found himself in his favorite hunting grounds, opening the score with another Messi like masterpiece that started with him blocking the ball on his own goal line before setting about on a circuitous Lewis and Clark like journey from the Gulf of Mexico and up the Mississippi before assisting himself with an acrobatic bicycle kick that pierced that lace-like netting of the upper v. (Maurice came to Coney and this is what he told me). There was no looking back as TQ cruised to an impressive 3-0 road win.


Similarities to R. Kelly End with the Song Reference

Even with Reggie “Scenic Route” Bolden absent from the festivities (he had dribbled a soccer ball all the way to Cold Springs in his pre-game warm-up and did not get back in time) things seemed to be going swimmingly for the Chaingang.  A goal ahead with half-time fast approaching the Slashers blades seemed blunted but as the whistle approached Ryan “McMuffin” McDonald pulled out his Big Mac producing a delicately crafted ball that sailed over the increasingly gravitationally challenged deputy keeper Andrew “I Believe I Cannot Fly” Tolley brushing the old onion bag and bristling Tolley’s now deflated ambitions of a shut out. The Chaingang got back on track after the interval absorbing pressure before catching the befuddled Slashers on the counter. It all seemed done and dusted until Tolley once again found gravity was no longer his friend and was left wanting a go over as Nick Sparkle tied things up with a very sparkly header. There was no looking back for Slashers. Wielding scalpels like machetes they cut through the Chaingang with surgical precision to serve the ‘Gang their first defeat. A goal from #42 and another for McMuffin sealed a 4-2 victory for the women and men in red.


Grimm Faced Tigers

Two speculative 400 yard line drives from the Terminator and another from Allbright at the Western end (get it?) were enough to tame the Tiger’s whose early strike from the returning pugnacious Pagni had restored hope that the Tigers best games, just like America, lie ahead. Tiger captains and computer wizards Long and Erlach are considering rendering some cgi effects in upcoming games to provide alternate endings to a familiar story. On a side note don’t forget to congratulate Tim and Celeste on their recent nuptials, meeeooooooooooowww, as one paper tiger said to another!


Braveheart: the Sequel (part one)

Across the gap that divides the Spyrograph and Field 2 (known to some as Hadrian’s Wall) the Bhoys & Ghirls had a right old ding-dong battle with the Real Studs. With a final of 4-3 the Studs squeaked out their first victory as Ima Getting Cross mobilized his forces to outflank the kinda tartan clad army.  Although in a losing effort, B&G golden bhoy, Scott “can I bum a fag of yee” McMorton served notice to all those bonnie prince Charlie Nicholases that his hamstring is literally behind him as he notched up his first hat trick on the bed post that is the 2013 RSCSL season.


Match Day 4 Results



Golden Slumbers 4 v 1 Wright Stuff


Real Studs 4 v 3 Bhoys & Ghirls


Team quattro 3 v 0 OBG Stoners


Chaingang 2 v 4 Slashers


Euro Envy 3 v 1 Paper Tigers


Match Day 5 Schedule

 As I type, the weather looms large outside and maybe a spot of rain will join us for our half-time spot of tea (believe it or not tea is frequently served at half-time across the pond to players and spectators of many a sporting fixture). Nonetheless I am confident that by kick off this Thursday the cumulonimbus will have abated and you will enjoy another beautiful eve courtesy of the British Meteorological Service, I may even have a few low clouds delivered to the northwest to curtail the effects of our local star.



Golden Slumbers v Slashers


Bishop Manogue HS


Chaingang v OBG Stoners


Reno HS


Euro Envy v Bhoys & Ghirls


North Valley


Real Studs v Team quattro


North Valley


Wright Stuff  v Paper Tigers


North Valley